6-3-08

Today was a day I would like to forget. Just a hard day....Oh before I forget. One of my really good girlfriends Felicia had her baby girl yesterday. She was 10 weeks ahead of me...go figure and Blake was the one that came early lol. Hannah was born yesterday morning and was 7 lbs 4 oz and was 19 inches long. She is a healthy baby girl and is officially Blake's new girlfriend :) His Aunt Erin came to stay with me since mom is leaving to go back to Ohio tomorrow. We went to see him and when we got there he was wide awake. He got his first eye exam today and will get them every two weeks from now on. They have to dialate his eyes each time. His poor little eye lids were so swollen because of it. They have to check his eyes for damage from all the extra oxygen. His weight is up to 2 lbs 10 oz. Yeah such a big boy and growing. They pushed his tube down farther and took an x-ray and it showed that it is down in his intestines again finally. Hopefully it will stay there. My little shih-tzu got out again and I recieved a call from AVID micro chip saying that someone had found her. She is having the hardest time with me being gone and has been digging under the fence to get out. The people that found her told me that she was running up to cars that were pulling into driveways and looking to see if it was one of us getting out. My mother-in-law is going to take her for the time being. We have a doggie door for all the dogs and she goes out and just decides to keep on going. Robert and I have also had to make a very difficult decision about our sweet greyhound Melissa. We are going to have to give her back to GPA (greyhound pets of america) so that they can find her a new home. We need to focus on Blake and Rob and I are completely devestated to have to let her go but we know it is best for us. So due to my bad day, I got up to the hospital as soon as I could to hold Blake. That made me feel better. He was so happy to be on my chest and holding him made my night so much better. My mom's best friend Karen came to see him and then I got to give him his bath. He got suctioned and then we left him on his back to try and see how long he would last laying that way. He was doing so well until all of a sudden he got really really mad. He turned bright red, started waving his hands and arms around, kicking so hard he kicked off one of his socks and turned his head in every different direction excpet the one the tube was facing. Then he started crying and tried pushing up on his cpap tube to get it off of him. I tried to comfort him, checked his diaper for any dirtiness, gave him his passy, and even tried giving him boundaries where you put your hands at his head and feet to contain him (which preemies really like usually). Yeah he wanted nothing to do with it. His nurse was over dealing with another baby and he started d-satting really low so I asked if I could flip him over onto his stomach and she said yes. So I did and once I got him positioned correctly, he calmed right down and fell asleep. All because he wanted to be on his stomach. He is such a turkey.
We also bought preemie socks that we washed several times in hot water and shrunk really small. We have started putting them on him to get him used to constant stimulation. There are still big on him but look so cute. He also has a red mark on his face which we can not tell if it is from where all the tape used to be or if it is going to be a birthmark. I hope it is just from the tape. I do not want him to have to go through being teased for any reason at all. I know I hated being teased when I was young because of my glasses.
Oh because I woke up this morning and my bp was still somewhat high, my doctor put me back on my meds, but only half. I am not on 200 mg of Labadelol two times a day and no more diaretics (the hydrochlorothiazide). That is good. Now we just have to see if it will work. It was ok after lunch and in the afternoon until the evening when it shot up really high (when I became upset of course) and then has stayed in the high 90's to 100's the rest of the night. I have a massive headache right now and am about to go to bed here in a sec. Mom went to spend some extra time with Blake at the hospital since she leaves early in the morning. But I am out of the wheel chair and walking everywhere and very slow I might add.
I apologize for this being so long. It has just been a very rough day for me and I am trying so hard to be strong and take it day by day, but when I am being pulled in every direction from both here and home, I don't know what else to do and emotionally I can't handle it. Robert is trying so hard to help me in any way he can, but he is also struggling with all of this. But hey, the good news is Blake has made it to 31 weeks gestational today so we are doing good. Hopefully only 9 more weeks here....XXXX cross my fingers.